By Jennifer “Jay” Palumbo
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 77.6 % of single, widowed, or divorced moms participate in labor. While the numbers are lower for mothers with children under age 6 (66.4 %), the fact remains that most single moms find themselves trying to figure out how to balance their careers and motherhood.
For many, this can become a source of stress, guilt, and frustration. But it doesn’t have to be. Finding ways to balance your career and motherhood without getting burned out or overwhelmed is possible. Of course, finding balance requires some work in and of itself, but it is well worth the effort.
1. Choose a Family-Friendly Employer
Where you choose to advance your career can go a long way in making balance possible. This emphasis can start when you are searching for a new job.
As Alison Doyle writes for LiveAbout, “Some code words in the job description can be very revealing, such as ‘work-life balance’ and ‘flexibility.’ Look for a sense that the work completed is more important than time in the office; references to work-from-home or telecommuting options can signal the company’s flexibility toward parents’ schedules. […]Does the job ad mention childcare, insurance, or other family-friendly musts? A company that pays for parental leave is more likely to support working parents in non-financial ways.”
Of course, it also pays to check employer reviews. And if you’re the one running your own company, it would do well to consider how these policies can help you and other parents who work for you.
2. Find Childcare You’re Comfortable With
Depending on the age of your children, you will likely need to use childcare services — and with 51 % of families spending over 20 % of their income on childcare, this can be a weighty matter.
The financial side of things will be important when considering your childcare options. But one key to avoiding “mom guilt” is ensuring that you trust the person (or people) caring for your children while at work. Knowing that your child is in a loving, caring environment can offer much-needed peace of mind.
Whether you choose a nanny, a childcare center, an after-school program, or get assistance from family members, take your time to find a solution that you and your child will be comfortable and happy with.
3. Set (and Keep) Boundaries
The cliche saying about “leaving work at work” is especially vital for single moms. While remote work and greater connectivity have made this more challenging than in the past, you must set clear boundaries so that your time at home can be focused on your children.
Writing for the Harvard Business Review, Elizabeth Grace Saunders recommends clear communication: “I would encourage you to communicate that with your colleagues directly. For example, you might say, ‘I typically leave work at 6 pm, so if you contact me after that time, you can expect to hear back from me sometime after 9 am the next business day.’ Or, in some cases, your actions can simply set that tone. For example, if they never hear from you between 6 pm and 9 am, that will set the expectation that you’re unavailable.”
You could also set boundaries by telling colleagues to contact you by phone in truly urgent situations. Then, after establishing these boundaries, stick to them so you can spend time with your family.
4. Combine Calendars
After setting clear boundaries between work and home life, the idea of combining calendars may seem counterintuitive. But combining your personal and work calendars can go a long way in helping you avoid conflicts. For example, identifying a schedule conflict between a parent-teacher conference and a work meeting well in advance can help you reschedule one of the meetings.
A family organizer can be especially helpful if multiple children are involved in different extracurricular activities. Knowing what everyone has going on throughout the week will help you stay organized, prioritize actions and plan accordingly.
5. Make Time for Yourself
Finally, remember to set aside time for yourself. Being a single mom is hard, especially when you are trying to move forward in your career at the same time. “Learn to give yourself a break and find opportunities to recharge amidst the chaos of managing work and motherhood because it’s not just for you,” says Veronica Natzia, who raised herself from being a homeless, single mom to becoming a confident and public speaking coach. “By attending to all aspects of your life – health, wealth, mindset, spirituality, and emotions – you not only enhance your own well-being, which will help you be a better mom, but you also set a powerful example for your children.”
As Dr. Michele Borba recommends, “You may not be able to avoid all the stress, but you can get away for just a few minutes to feel less overwhelmed. Permitting yourself to take a brief’ stress break’ is often enough to decompress or give a new perspective.”
Even simple activities like yoga, meditation, and exercise can relieve stress and help you feel emotionally recharged. Find what works for you to feel at peace as you try to find balance.
Balance Is Possible
Finding that “perfect” balance between your career and motherhood can be challenging, especially when your children are young. And while these tips can help you achieve that balance, you’ll still likely face days where you feel stressed from having too much on your plate.
But don’t give up. Keep on pushing forward. Focus on doing your best, and remind yourself that you are doing your best. Life won’t always be perfect, but when you prioritise finding balance, you’ll be one step closer to finding it.
* Jennifer “Jay” Palumbo is the Founder and CEO of Wonder Woman Writer, LLC, a freelance writer, stand-up comic, and proud mompreneur to two boys, one with special needs.
*This article first appeared on the Forbes website